Sunday, September 11, 2011

Things To Be Grateful For

This week, I really had no idea what to write about. As I sat in front of the computer screen my mind  drew a creative blank. The past few months have been a blur of activity - book contracts, promotion, writing, lawyer appointments, part-time job, and taking care of my kids and ALL of what that entails, ie. homework, appointments, activities, back to school, making lunches, getting them to do chores, etc., I think I'm just plain old tired! And this being the anniversary of 9/11 and with the 14th of September marking what would've been my 15th wedding anniversary, I found myself in a melancholy mood. So, I thought I'd take a moment to look back at where I've been and rejoice in my life at this moment.

1. Nearly a year ago, my husband and I separated. Hard to believe it's been that long. I've trudged through the last few months as best I could. Divorce wasn't something I wanted, but then neither was the way we were living. I remembered way back in those first dark couple of months when I chatted with the boyfriend of one of my BFF's. He asked me about the situation, and I concluded with, "That may sound dramatic but that's how I feel." His response was: "No, that doesn't sound dramatic. I've read your work and you have a passion that comes through. You deserve to live that passion out loud with someone who will share that with you." Needless to say, I teared up much as I did while thinking of it, as the day he said it. The kind words of my friends have helped me get through many a dark moment in the last while, and I'm so thankful for the kind words of others.

2. Ten years ago, I was expecting my 2nd child when the Twin Towers fell. It was difficult to feel right about rejoicing in his impending birth with so much destruction and devastation, and all the babies that year who would never know their mothers or fathers. But in a couple of weeks, he turns 10 and is the sweetest, kindest young man you'll ever meet. While the world is a lot more fearful place, it becomes increasingly more difficult not to instill that fear in our children. But I remain hopeful that we can make the world a better place for our kids by focusing on bringing them up right.

3. In the past five months, I've received 4 contract offers for my books. Three are short stories and will be published as ebooks, and one novel will be published as an ebook and in print. So far. I'm not done yet by a long shot! I am grateful to have these opportunities to be able to do what I love - write stories and share them with the world. I'm also told that a couple of my erotic poems will be added to an anthology with another publisher. Details on that to come...

4. Men. This may sound weird, but I have many men in my life who I'm grateful for. Some of them have come and gone, being downright creepy, however, they taught me to stand up for myself. My dad has been a great support to me, and I'm so thankful he's still around for me to enjoy his company and for the kids to know their grandpa. I have some really great male friends who have listened, providing advice from a man's perspective when I needed it. They've encouraged me to stand my ground, and made me laugh when I've been down.

5. My girlfriends. I saved the best for last. My fellow Angels have stood by me even though they are all so far away, but your support has meant the world as I went through such a trying time, and celebrating my successes with you is one of the highlights of my year. To all my other BFF's - I'm so thankful to have so many of you in my life who listen, let me cry, share some laughs, and just let me be, well, ME. Over the past few months, I've strengthened my friendships with those already in my life and forged new ones. I'll forever be grateful for what your presence has brought to me and will continue to bring.

To end off, I thought I'd share a poem I wrote the other night while I sat by the fire. Thanks to my muse who has returned with a vengeance!

I sit here outside in front of the fire
with the full moon rising ever higher;
Listening to all the night sounds
in darkness, night life abounds

I sit back, relax and close my eyes
and it never comes as a surprise;
Finding that I wish you were here
whispering naughty things in my ear

Imagining your arms wrapped around me
holding me close, ever so tightly,
on my neck, your lips leave their mark
shivering, I cling to you in the dark

I open my eyes to find I'm alone
put a hand to my heart, and know you're not gone;
Trudge into the house, tuck myself into bed
dreams of you, swirling through my head

It's a work in progress, just as we all are. So tell me - what are you thankful for?


  1. First of all Kelly. I loved the poem! It was was so vivid.

    Today, the anniversary of 9/11 has been on my mind a lot. I even watched some of the old footage on youtube. I am not sure why, those images were already engrained in my memory, but I just couldn't help myself. Just like I couldn't turn it off the days following. I felt so helpless at the time. I wanted to help, but wasn't sure how. I was also so mad and angry for the first time in my life.

    But like you, I try to think of all that I am grateful for, my family, friends, my teaching and all of you angels!

    I know I already told you this, but I am so happy for you with the book contracts. You are on a roll right now, girl! I am so proud of you!

  2. Kellie I am thankful for so many things I would not know where to begin. I am thankful to God for giving me another year on this earth , thankful to have my wonderful son come and visit me and to forgive me for turning his world upside down . I left his Dad 6 years ago . I am thankful for the man I am living with who brings passion and love into my life as well as respect . I am grateful to my youngest son for giving me a great daughter-in-law and three little granddaughters . I am most grateful to have met wonderful friends like you that I can love and encourage along with my children for I have found God has given me a loving nurturing nature that I used to try and hide.
    I loved your Poem and I truly love your soul which comes through in your writing. YOU are a wonderful poet, writer and friend and a loving caring Mom and person as well as a very passionate lady. thank you for letting me be a part of your life albeit from a distance. I have FAITH in you Kellie and you will find your way . XOXOXOXO"S

  3. Thank you so much Cindy for your kind words and for sharing so openly what you are thankful for. That is a wonderful list!

    Kasey - Thank you so much. I'm glad you also have things to be thankful for and your life is going well. :)

  4. Wow, Kel, very inspiring! You've made me think!

    In the past few months, I've also been very grateful to have many friends and family during tough times. God only gives us what we can handle. That I firmly believe. And if we think we can't, it can only make us stronger.

    I'm inspired every day. And very thankful for the things I do have.

    I would love to say that I can't wait for a day where I won't have to wonder when things get better. If I'm being honest (and grateful) I would have to say that they are already here.

    Thanks for the thoughtful inspiration.


  5. Kellie, You never fail to get right to the heart of the matter, whatever the 'matter' may be. Your poem was beautiful and your testimony touching. They made me reflect on, all over again,my blessings, including my family (difficult though they can be :)and my friends, who keep me encouraged and motivated. I appreciate all of you.

    You've been through the gamut of traumatic experiences this last decade--and the last year. You are certainly an inspiration for your triumph. Your writing success is well deserved--and you will have more to come.

    God Bless.

  6. Hi, Kellie - I have a friend who is contemplating a separation after more than 20 years of marriage, and I hope for her the same things you hoped for yourself: someone to share the many of life's passions. Sounds like you're getting there. Hang in there. :-)
    Leah (a fellow Rose)

  7. Wonderful post, Kellie.

    With everything you've been through this year, it's great that you're able to be positive and remember the blessings in your life. You truly the deserve the love, happiness and success in your life.

    You are certainly my inspiration. Love ya!

  8. Wow - such great responses :) Leah *waves to my fellow Rose* - it's not an easy decision to make. I'd been married for 14, and with him for 20. We all deserve to share life's passions with a special someone. I hope your friend finds the answers she needs to make the decisions she is facing.

    Elke and Barb - I do like to get right to the heart of the matter. I've been through a lot, will be through more and am learning how to enjoy the right now. Life isn't so bad when you reflect and put things in perspective.

    Trish - things will get better for you too. Have faith. It's not always an easy thing to do, but if you can, one day the sun will shine brightly.

  9. I am thankful for each and every day the Lord has given me. I'm thankful I have the friends and family I have. I'm thankful I have a home over my head, shoes on my feet, and food in my tummy. I'm also thankful that God has given me a heart for what I do, and I hope I make a little difference in this strange, mixed-up world that sometimes seems amazing and others seems insane.

    Great post! Evocative poem! You're awesome, Kellie!

  10. My sweet Kellie, you are truly an inspiration to all of us. You lift my spirits with your honesty and insight. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. Beautiful and vivid poetry as always. I am so proud of your accomplishments and the long journey you have traveled thus far.

    I am thankful for you and my other fellow Angels, my other friends, family, and GOD. With HIM and all of you by my side, I can not fail. I refuse to curl up into a ball and let life attach me to a tether and 'hope something brushes up and happens' to me. The past several months, I have learned not to take life for granted and the things I want and deserve from it either.

    You brighten my day, Kellie. Thank you.

    JD :)

  11. Thank you Cherie and JD for sharing your thoughts and kind words. Both of you are such an inspiration to me as well!

  12. Kellie girl, you are always inspiring, and you are always loved. I'm thankful for family, especially my husband, children, and the blessing of my many, many grandchildren. I'm thankful for my most excellent girlfriends, both lifelong, and fairly new...those I see often and those of you I get to 'see' here online. I'm thankful to live in a country where I'm free to persue my dream of touching lives through my work or my writing. I'm thankful for my cancer, which gave me a new zest for life. I'm thankful for endings...which I know are only the chance for new beginnings.

  13. It posted before I finished! In closing, I'm thankful for you for reminding me of all I should be thankful for.
    Love you all, my Angels!

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